Overcoming Imposter Syndrome to Lead with Confidence and Spiritual Grounding

Working with Coach Ricky, I know how to feel more grounded, less reactive, a clear thought process. I don't feel like I have to prove myself to the world or to my coworkers. It comes from confidence and stability, and I become more effective in my role. Hi, my name is Kristi, and I live in Tehachapi, California, and I work as a clinical informaticist. I've been a nurse, um, for years, moved into a position of leadership, and once I was in that role, I was having an issue with my identity of not feeling like I belonged there, feeling like maybe they chose the wrong person. But I also knew that I had the years of experience, a good resume. They picked me 'cause they wanted me, but I just had a really hard time those first couple months of feeling like I wanted to fit in better, I wanted to prove my worthiness, and I knew this was a struggle, and I wasn't gonna be able to do it with the tools that I owned already. I felt diminished in my new role, whereas before I was able to show up energetic and helpful and useful. If they were calling on me to, to speak in front of a lot of people, like through Teams meeting, I would feel the blood rushing through my veins, and I would just immediately forget what I... any words that I was gonna say. But I felt like I was not showing up as my best self because I was worried that they would see through me and my insecurity. So I dug around, and I found Coach Ricky. Working with Coach Ricky helped me just to get a better sense of who I was as a person. Helped me see the difference between operating from identity versus operating from identity based on the performance that I was giving. So I was unconsciously trying to earn my belonging through perfection, and that was causing me to stumble. So he shared with me, and this is what I've been really learning about, is my identity of worthiness is only shattered if I feel like it's built on my performance. So you're always trying to outperform and do your best and strive to the next level. In this world and in church even, we're taught that you give your life to Christ, but Christ says, "I give my life to you." I learned that I've had to try to earn love, but now I know that I awaken to the fact that love is already here, and I'm already loved. One of the, uh, times I met with Coach Ricky, he said, "Look at it this way. You're not trying to prove anything to anybody. You're there to serve the people there that you're talking to. Just show them love." That was the point that made a difference. You don't have to strive for worth. You start from worth. In work, it helped me to see I'm not a, a clinical informaticist who happens to be a Christian, but I'm already a child of God who happens to be a clinical informaticist. You can have everything people think you should have on the outside, but it stems from a lot of childhood wounds, I think. You don't think that your childhood injuries or traumas are gonna affect you at this age in life, but unless you deal with them, they kinda really do. So yeah, the shift was learning to operate from a place of acceptance rather than striving for it. Remember your faith. Your faith requires courage to accept acceptance as God accepts us as we are. I think knowing that where you stand and where you are with God gives you a solid foundation that gives you wings. It gives you the ability to stretch yourself, knowing that you're gonna be fine wherever you land. I think something I learned from Coach Ricky is that to remember that I didn't arrive here by accident. I was invited into this role because of my experience, my perspective, and my character were needed. So if I didn't... If I hadn't have chosen to call Ricky as my coach, I'd be so much further behind, and I've made a lot of leaps and bounds in the last two years under his guidance.